


terrible things

by setmynameinhighlights



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Leukemia, M/M, Sick!Louis, mentions of zayn/harry relationship, this is just really sad/cute fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1309555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setmynameinhighlights/pseuds/setmynameinhighlights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is Harry’s best friend and is going to do whatever he can to make sure that he will never be hurt— emotionally and physically.</p><p>a fic where louis is dying of leukemia & harry has asperger's syndrome while dating bad boy, zayn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	terrible things

**Author's Note:**

> i cried writing this.
> 
> follow me on tumblr :)
> 
> http://blurred-irwin.tumblr.com

"Hell, Harry. All you keep talking about is this Zayn kid, but I know nothing about him." 

That’s how it tended to be because Harry was always too excited to even begin where he would need to stsart. He didn’t start from the beginning, he just told stories about him and Zayn and how they would watch movies and share clothes and kiss sometimes. It was the giddiness in Harry that always got to Louis. He was always so happy for Harry when things like this happened because Harry would act like a four year old and never stop talking about it. 

"Lou, we watched Pirates of the Caribbean, too. And snuggled! Oh, and we—" 

"Dude, calm down!" Louis laughed gently as they sat on Harry’s bed reading over homework that hadn’t been touched yet. He sat criss-cross as he faced his friend and noticed the extreme smile. Harry was almost shaking with excitement. "Where did you meet him?"

"Um, well, like," Harry scrunched his nose and blinked his eyes hard because he was trying to put it in the best words possible. "I was working and he came in and— Lou, he told me I have pretty eyes, too! He lives with his friend Li—" 

"Harry, calm down, bro." Louis just laughed because it was all he could do when Harry got to this point. 

Ever since they were eight, it was impossible to separate the two. Harry had always been an outsider, but Louis struggled with making friends himself. He had always been outgoing, but there was just something that Louis could never overcome. 

It was the stupid leukemia that had always just… been there. Yeah, he hurt some days, but Harry always made sure that he was okay. Harry was always the friend to visit him in the hospital. He was always the friend to make sure he got his homework in on time. 

They made sure to treat each other normally because they each lived with something they couldn’t control. 

Louis kept it a secret for a long time, though. He didn’t tell a lot of kids when they were in school because he was still normal, just out for a lot of sick days. The school was understanding, and so was Harry. 

They hung out whenever Louis would come home from the hospital and they would play outside and run around and pretend to be army men. Louis and Harry were connected at the hip, and they were lucky to have each other. 

But Louis was still scared for Harry. He knew his days were limited, and he knew that one day, Harry would have to live without him. They had never had that kind of talk before, and Louis didn’t want to bring anything awful on the boy to scare him. So, he didn’t. 

When Harry brought up things about being in love and starting to really feel a certain connection with someone, Louis didn’t know if he would be there if it ever ended. Harry had been there for Louis to fall back on whenever he had broken up with a girl, and even though he didn’t really understand why a girl would break up with him, he understood that Louis was sad. And that Louis needed cuddles and hugs and kisses and love. 

This worried Louis too much, and he needed to know that Harry was safe in someone else’s arms. 

"Are you being safe, Harold?" His eyebrows quirked up gently as he started to write down the pages from his math homework on the loose-leaf sheet of paper. "You’re using condoms, yeah?"

Harry looked up from his work and gave Louis his big green eyes that were usually full of innocence, but Louis knew that someone took that away from him. 

"A few times, I guess. It depends on what Zayn wants." Harry licked his lips, studying back down on what he was working on before feeling Louis staring at him. 

"Depends on what Zayn wants?" Louis asked, now curious. 

"Well, sometimes we just… don’t. Zayn tells me I’m safe. So, I am." The smile crossed his lips before he felt the warmth in his bones thinking about Zayn.

That made Louis even more curious. Harry was impressionable, and he had known that from an early age. He wasn’t quite sure Harry understood that being in a relationship was a two-way street. Just because this kid told him to do something didn’t mean he had to do it. 

"Do you always like it?" His words were quiet, and filled with even more worry that he would say something other than what he wanted to hear. 

Harry looked confused. 

"I—well, I love him." His eyebrows scrunched together gently before he looked up at Louis again. 

"How long have y—"

"Why are you asking me all these questions?" Harry finally asked, looking up at Louis. He never got defensive, but after he realized it, his face softened. "I didn’t mean to be cross."

Louis wanted to tell Harry the truth. He didn’t know if Harry realized the intensity of his illness. Sometimes, he felt like Harry really was four, and that frightened him. 

"I want to make sure you’re okay, Harry. You’re my best friend." 

Harry bit at his bottom lip, making sure to suck it in when he started to tear up. It was times like these that got intense, and Harry got scared. 

"Lou?" His voice cracked gently as he let a tear fall on his paper, instantly soaking it up. 

Louis didn’t say anything. 

"Are you going to be okay?" Harry’s light green eyes moved to Louis’ piercing blue ones, making sure he wouldn’t lie to him. 

Harry loved Louis to the point that he knew he wouldn’t be able to go on without him. Louis was supposed to be the best man at his wedding. Louis was supposed to be the godfather of his child. Louis was supposed to love him when no one else would. 

"I don’t know, Harry."

"I don’t want you to go, Louis. Why you?" 

Louis still didn’t know ‘why him’ yet. There were still too many questions that hadn’t been answered and Louis didn’t know how much time he had left. He didn’t know if he was dying or surviving. 

"I can tell you that I honestly don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know if I’ll be there when your first kid is born… I don’t know if I’ll be there for your wedding…" He swallowed gently. "Or your graduation."

Harry’s bottom lip quivered more. He was crumbling. 

"God— Harry, please, don’t cry." He shook his head putting his book down before leaping across and cradling the boy in his arms, rubbing at his hair. The thick mat of  curls were soft and smelled like pineapple. "You’re going to be fine, okay?" He shook his head. "Don’t do this." 

"I need to make sure he’s treating you right, Harry. I need to make sure that when I’m gone, he’s going to love you and support you and make sure that you’re the happiest you’ve ever been." Louis was starting to feel himself choke up. "I need to know that you’re in good hands and that someone understands your quirkiness and the way that you hide underneath the kitchen table for comfort when you’re scared or you’re thinking," He closed his eyes and tried to breathe. "You need to be taken care of by someone who loves you and doesn’t make you do things you don’t want to do. You need to make sure that you love him. You need to make sure that the person who loves you is going to take care of you forever— not just when they need you, Harry.” 

Harry laid in Louis’ arms and cried. They both cried. They both knew what they knew.

Harry would never leave Louis, that he promised. 

Louis, on the other hand, couldn’t make the same.


End file.
